Venti Mooch

“I’ll have a tall coffee and 4 venti ice-waters.”  This is the common order I have been hearing this afternoon.  
 

What did some of these people do before Starbucks?  I know that I would see a few at the public library, but as soon as wireless internet and a warm place to park one’s caboose became standard, you cannot get into a Starbucks without some dick-hole trying to sell the next greatest thing to a group of sheeple.  Today, I have witnessed a real estate mini seminar, a pyramid scheme, and I think someone trying to push Amway (Amway peeps always smile and act as if they have no concept of the word “No”).  

 
If the person who is giving you the offer of a lifetime cannot afford a real office, chances are the BMW he is driving is leased under his mama/girlfriend/ex-girlfriend/baby-mama’s name.     If real estate is your ticket out, then why is she living in an  apartment and wearing jewelry rummaged from a Sam Moon dumpster?   Is that a Blackberry??  Oh come on!   Even the kids in the trailer parks have iPhones.
 
Here come the Bible study guys.